A Love Letter To My Twenties

by Marlena Torres on May 15, 2013

Hey there! 

Today’s post is a little unusual. I turned 30 yesterday and last night felt inspired to write a little “so long” letter to my twenties. What an intense decade it was. I’m sure everyone who has been through them feels me on this! 

So what I’m sharing below is what I wrote last night. It’s the only thing I could think of sharing on the blog today. I hope you enjoy it!

 

My teens rolled into my twenties with a  case of ennui. I remember when I was in middle school and a teacher marked that I was “indifferent” on my report card.

My mom was so angry. “You are NOT indifferent.”

I was, and it got worse.

But 20 was the age I first tried meditating. I felt something inside me light up. A new path emerged for me.

 

After spending a semester off from college in Jersey, I re enrolled at Millersville as an English major. I didn’t want to teach anymore, so I dropped the education piece of the degree I was pursuing.

I remember looking at my class options for my English degree and feeling so excited.

“This feels like me.” I remember saying to myself. It felt right, and good.

But unfortunately I went back to teaching. So many people asking me, “What are you gonna do with an English degree?” freaked me out.

 

My dad joked that my two greatest arguments were why I needed to leave college and why I had to go back.

I think the opposing options of everything are my greatest arguments.

 

My twenties have shown me how divided and opposing my desires often are.

 

I remember when I was twenty, spending the summer in New Brunswick with two of my greatest friends, one new, one from high school. We spent so many lazy, hazy, humid nights on the front porch. Smoking, drinking, laughing so hard.

I spent a month without work or school. We went to the beach whenever we felt like it. It was so hard for me to think about going back to a life of structure. Job. School. Homework. Ugh.

I did end up getting a job, and liking it. The world of restaurant work was so much fun. Lots of cash, not a lot of responsibility. A lot of parties to go to and a lot of people who made me laugh.

This led to me meeting my husband, and my “PA family”, as I used to think of them (and still do even though I don’t see them nearly as much). This was definitely the most carefree fun I’d ever had in my life.

Now that I am 30 I am only looking back at my twenties with a  softness in my heart. It makes me smile. And it breaks me apart too.

It breaks me apart when I get a text from a childhood friend saying “Happy Mother’s Day and Birthday, Old Friend”, and he hasn’t met my baby yet.

It breaks me apart that I have friends that I love and family that I need so far away as I’ve gone through my ages and phases this past decade.

It’s taken me far away from where I started, and also right back to who I’ve always been. A person who wants a lot of things that contradict one another. I want freedom. I want my daughter (I’ve learned that parenthood may be the opposite of freedom), and a family.

I’m tired of worrying about money but I want the perfect house and I want vacations. I want beautiful clothes. I need to travel.

I suppose my twenties have shown me my duality. I am so very happy to be at home tonight, with my daughter and husband sleeping just a few feet away from me. A part of me would love to dress up and go out and party my heart out. And when I did do that years ago, a big part of me desperately wanted a good man and hearth. I dreamed about it often. And I so wanted a baby to take care of. I really wanted to feel something as intense as a mother’s love for her baby (which I’ve learned, is the opposite of ennui).

Dear twenties, you have treated me so well. I bow at your feet for all you’re brought and taught me, for how you’ve cleansed me, and for all the good you’ve let me discover in myself.

I have nothing but excitement about going into this new decade.

Life is exciting. Love feels perfect. Everything is as it should be.

Thank you thank you thank you,

Marlena

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Books For Bangladesh

by Marlena Torres on May 1, 2013

Hi friends,

I can’t stop thinking about the tragedy in Bangladesh and I am disturbed by the circumstances that contributed to the deaths of hundreds, and injuries to thousands of mostly young women workers who were making clothing for American and European clothing companies in dangerous conditions with no health or safety standards, and with no benefits.

These people should not have been working in a building that was unsafe, but were forced by the factory owners who threatened non-payment of one month’s wages if they refused to work there. This is violent and abusive. It’s also a “normal” part of our world.

I will be donating all of my ebook sales from this past week + the next two weeks, through my 30th birthday (May 14th) to the V-Day Rising Fund  (created by Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues) which will provide immediate emergency support for workers and their families. All funds raised will go directly to the medical and financial support of the families of the workers who lost their lives, and to the medical needs of the workers who were injured.

These ebooks are well worth the reasonable price. In the 7 Day Jumpstart ebook you get a 7 day raw food meal plan with exclusive workouts from Rebekah “Bex” Borucki, and with 2 Weeks 2 A New You, you will get all the detox info you’ll need to get to your greatest health along with a 2 week meal plan, and over 100 recipes designed to help you lose weight, improve digestion, and skyrocket your energy levels. It’s May 1st, and summer is coming, so why not grab these books for a good cause and get yourself feeling fab and gorgeous in time for the heat?

Click here to purchase 7 Day Jumpstart

 

Click here to puchase 2 Weeks 2 A New You

 

I am also very interested to see where some of you buy your clothing. I know American Apparel is well known for it’s sweatshop free policy, but I would love to hear more from those of you who are conscious shoppers. Leave your favorite stores in the comment section below!

That’s all for this week! I look forward to what you have to share on conscious clothing choices.

Please share this post with everyone you know! Even if you aren’t able to purchase an ebook, spreading awareness about this incident and the Rising fund, as well as sharing your favorite sweatshop free clothing companies will help put an end to abusive work environments. We have to demand it!

Much Love,

Marlena

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Think You’re Ready For A Juice Fast? Here Are 3 Ways To Know For Sure.

April 24, 2013

It’s officially Spring. Flowers are in bloom and I have my windows open most days. Sometimes it feels more like Autumn, but that’s OK with me.   Spring is a time where a lot of people feel motivated to juice fast. As you all know from my juice fasting video blog, juice fasting isn’t for [...]

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April 17, 2013

Hey friends, I hope that you’ve ventured over to My Digital Notebook by now. If you haven’t, you’ll have to if you want to see my video blog for my juice fast (my first and last video blog – click here). Click here to see the video journal. You’ll see, when you watch the video, that [...]

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Juice Fast Journals, Dehydrator Free Raw/Vegan PB & J Macaroons, And My Brother Is Cleansing!

April 10, 2013

Thank you all for your comments to last week’s post. The word is that split pea soup is amazing (both as is and with extra added veggies!), and also that many of you would be interested in me documenting a juice fast. So document, I shall! I started my fast on Tuesday (yesterday, April 9th), [...]

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A New Citrus Juice Favorite, A Fruity Green Juice, Fasting Reflections, And A Soup Recipe That Almost Made Me Break My Fast!

April 3, 2013

OK, first things first. The following recipe is for the best juice, ever. I’m just going to start the post off with it as I think this may have to be my breakfast for all of eternity, fasting or not fasting. I’m so excited about it. Thank you to the brilliant Jen Colombo for sharing [...]

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2 Super Easy Recipes That Will Make You Want to Juice Fast

March 27, 2013

The title of this post offers a BIG promise, I know. Believe me. As much as I love juices, I love my meals, too. Trading a meal for liquid is something that, while incredibly beneficial for me (I sometimes think I feel better on a juice fast than I do while eating!), is not something [...]

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The Food and Body Bliss Pages

March 21, 2013

I’ve gotten so much great feedback from my longer posts these past few weeks, especially last week’s post, “My Body Is Perfect, And So Is Yours”. I’m so happy that you’re enjoying them, and that they are resonating. It’s so great to feel less alone on this journey, isn’t it? I love, love, LOVE to [...]

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My Body Is Perfect, And So Is Yours.

March 14, 2013

It may seem like I write about food and nutrition just to show you how delicious healthy food is. I think I’ve made it pretty clear that you can veganize old favorites pretty easily, or sub goat cheese for cow cheese in pretty much everything. But that’s not really why I write. I write because [...]

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Super Indulgent Sunday

March 6, 2013

In honor of “What I Ate Wednesday”, I thought rather than share my Wednesday eats with you, I’d share my Sunday eats with you. Here’s why. I realize that my first What I Ate Wednesday post was a bit perfect looking: green juice, apples, kale salad, and banana ice cream. Without a doubt, some of [...]

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