I’ve written a lot about indulgence over the years. If my blog is an indicator of who I am, I suppose you’d think that I love food, I love desserts, and I love being in the kitchen.
But the truth is that I don’t always feel that way. Not even close. It’s safe to say that with all the passion I have for food, I’ve had moments where I don’t want to look or think about it for a while. And there have definitely been many times I’ve sworn I would NEVER turn on my oven again. This week being one of them. Ugh.
It’s safe to say my relationship with food is often a love-hate relationship. I think that whenever there is a relationship in your life that isn’t straight up love…it’s time to look into it a bit deeper.
A relationship should be empowering and enriching. When you are in relationship with something, whether it’s a person, a job, or an object: house, car, clothing, food…whatever, you shouldn’t be stressed out and depleted by it. That’s not healthy.
And you shouldn’t be easy when it comes to your relationships. You should be selective. Don’t take the first man or woman, job offer, or house that will do. Don’t make your kids cookie crumbs your dessert, or the leftovers from last night’s dinner tomorrow’s lunch (unless that’s what you truly desire!). There is something empowering and energizing about raising your expectations and demanding the best for yourself.
This past week I realized that I’ve never been easy when it comes to romantic relationships. I’ve had so few relationships that when I brought Enrico home to meet my parents, they knew that we were going to end up married.
So now I’m not going to be easy with food, either.
Dessert is my tough spot. It’s very difficult for me to go without it. But I’ve realized I just don’t feel good about dessert anymore. It brings me more stress than pleasure. So I’ve decided that I need some boundaries with desserts. Note: boundaries, not self deprecating rules.
Dessert is like the man that always breaks your heart, always cheats on you, but leaves you thinking it’s your fault. So you always go back for more. And the allure of him sure is real nice, isn’t it? Just like the thought of chocolate cake, right?
But the reality is more like this: fake. Short lived. Anxious anticipation which we easily misinterpret for passion.
That’s never been my man style so why have I ever allowed it be my food style?
On the other hand, a beautiful salad is like a good man. It is strong and hearty, filled with good stuff (minerals, nutrients, enzymes, chlorophyll), and so it elevates you like true love elevates you. There is no crash after you merge with a good man or a good meal. Both provide you with lovin’ that lasts and lasts. It sustains you when life gets tough. There is no heart break. No deep disappointment. No feeling used. No tears. No asking yourself “why did I do that again?” or “what am I holding onto?” There is no feeling of not being good enough. Not ever. It’s perfect.
Instead, you feel nourished. Loved. Energized. Alive. You feel supported but you also feel like you can do anything all on your own. It’s a healthy interdependency. An interdependency that recognizes what love from another can do for you when it’s pure, whole, and real.
I’m not saying I’ll never have dessert again. Oh hells no. I don’t think I would ever say that. But I’m choosing to release the hook it has in me. It’s just not healthy, fun, tasty, or uplifting anymore.
And that’s me this week in the year of no dieting. I hope that I’m onto something with this. If it strikes a chord with you, please share it on Facebook and Twitter!
Have any of you ever parted ways with a person or a habit that was wearing you down? If so, were you better off for it? I’d love to hear your story in the comment section below!
Much Love, and Thank You for reading about my journey!